Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize