I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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