So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
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It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
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Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize