and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
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Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
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he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
as a side note pls kill me
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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