my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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