dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize