I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize