got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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