Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
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