She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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