Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
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