Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
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