Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize