He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize