Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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