so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
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I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
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I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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