3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize