can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Randomize