Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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