And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize