i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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