I CAN MOONWALK!
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
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Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He better not be in your backpack
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
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His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
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