She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
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I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
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I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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