just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize