I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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