i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
The best revenge is premature balding
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Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
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being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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