The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
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