found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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