Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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