I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, beer. Big fan.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Enjoy the penises
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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