oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
tell me about the eggs
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