Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
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