so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
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My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
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He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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