I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize