He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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