can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
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Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
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new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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