Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
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stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
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Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize