i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
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Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
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I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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