i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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