WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
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I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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