I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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