Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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