My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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