I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize