Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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