Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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