im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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