haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
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So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
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Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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