dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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