He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize